The Book is Called Opportunity

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day."

- Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Here it is - December 31, 2012. We are all on the cusp of a new year. Two thousand thirteen, twenty thirteen, 2013. What will this year bring - What joys? What sorrows? What new beginnings and what endings? God only knows.

Many of us take time to reflect on the past year and look forward to the new year. As I look toward 2013 I see a vision for my life. For who I want to be and what I want to do. And I am going to share this vision with you for accountability and support and maybe even to inspire a few who may need it.

In 2013 I will take the advice of my good friend, Tanya, who shared her secret to being mindful and creating lasting change. She chooses one word to focus on for the entire year. She was telling us about her word for 2012 during discussion at church on Sunday. Immediately, when she talked about her journey, a word - MY WORD - popped in to my head. I am almost afraid to share it because, as I told Tanya, sharing it means it's real. I have to do it. I have to focus on it.

Now, those of you who know me understand that there are many areas in my life at which others would look at me and say I am disciplined. I am disciplined at work, task oriented and ready to meet any challenge and find a way to make the task in front of me work. I am disciplined in my weekly meal planning and grocery shopping and MOSTLY disciplined in utilizing the groceries I have in my house. I am also disciplined when it comes to keeping schedules and making sure my children are on top of what they need to be doing and are going where they need to go. I follow through with plans when friends and family are involved and do what I say I'm going to do for others. And, whether or not it feels like a chore I am disciplined in budgeting our house hold income and spending it on what we say we are going to spend it on. I am blessed because these things come naturally to me. Planning, organizing, making to do lists, putting others first. (You can ask my hubby if he feels 'blessed' by these 'gifts' all of the time.)

The reason the word discipline popped in to my head for a theme for this year is because I am ready to learn how to be disciplined in ways that directly affect me. I am so often disciplined in the ways that directly affect everyone around me - my family, my co-workers, my friends, my house hold. But when it comes to committing to myself and being disciplined to follow through on those commitments, I just plain don't do it. I make excuses, I lose focus, I lack motivation. I frankly.... get lazy. Especially when it comes to being disciplined about my physical/spiritual/mental health.

Things I've been saying I want to do forever - I mean, seriously, I've had these on my resolution list for the greater part of 10 years - but I never actually follow through and DO THEM:
- Exercise 4-5 times a week
- Eat 1300-1500 calories a day
- Read two books a month (Shout out to my Book Club gals for helping me reach 50% of this goal)
- Watch less TV
- Spend time reading the Bible
- Journal
- Do pottery (Okay, this is a newer one because it's a newer love, but after making time for it January 2012-June 2012 I stopped.)

I am 30 pounds overweight, snack on junk at night after the kids go to bed, and tend to spend the last hour or more of my night crashed on the couch watching TV and surfing the internet. I make excuses why I can't get up in the morning to exercise and why I can't exercise in the evening.  Some of you reading this will nod in agreement because your assessment of your physical health is similar to what I've described. I also wake up at the last possible second every day leaving very little time for reflection/journalling/prayer/Bible study - and for a person who needs to reflect to feel connected to myself and those around me this is especially detrimental to my spiritual and mental health.

So here I go. And now you all know that I'm on this quest for personal discpline. The quest to stop making excuses for myself about why I don't need to be disciplined in my daily interaction with MY body/mind/spirit. If you are on a similar quest or have been on a quest like this before, please share with me. Share your successes/struggles to inspire me and others who are on a similar journey.  Was there something that really worked for your success?  Do you have a favorite pod cast you listen to for motivation?  A favorite website for healthy recipes?  An amazing song for a work out playlist?  A show that is great to watch while on the elliptical (on Netflix or Hulu)? 

Three hundred sixty-five days from now as I am reflecting on 2013 I am sure there will be successes, I am also sure there will be times I tried and failed. Ultimately I hope the vision I've been given of myself will be closer to reality and the discipline I incorporate daily for myself will allow me to be free from the burden of 10 years of failed promises.