What I really mean to say is, "It's not about you, it's about me." Some of you may want to stop reading after that selfish statement... but hear me out.
Many of you know about my search for discipline this year. I started taking steps toward a more disciplined life publicly. Posting about my progress, my hopes, my desires, documenting with pictures of how I knew I was on the right track. (And throwing a random "fashion" post in there.) I believed the more people expected me to be disciplined, and supported me in my choice to be disciplined, the easier the road would be to travel.
And then I stopped posting.
And then a friend asked me if I would like to be accountability partners and I said no.
Those choices were calculated and well thought out.
What I have realized over the first 6 months of focusing on discipline is that I am a people pleaser and I am also a bit competitive. I wanted to go on this journey for me and just share my progress with you. As post after post was blogged, I began to understand that while I really did want to do this for me, it was also true that I wanted to please all of you and I wanted to show you just how quickly I could accomplish my goals. I was doing it for both of us.
So, my lack of posting is not about you, it's about me. Just like this journey of discipline. I am learning not to look to others for approval or set my goals by comparing myself to others. I am learning to look to inward for motivation.
"I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else.
I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be."
- Ken Venturi
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