Observations

I like feeling strong. I like that I can do leg raises & crunches and not feel like my stomach muscles are going to pull apart.  I like that I can swim or run/elliptical for an hour and feel good when I'm done.  I like seeing muscle definition in my legs/arms again.

I like wearing a smaller size. It's fun getting dressed in the morning.

I like not feeling bloated all of the time.  Man alive.  That alone helps my clothes fit better.

I like having energy.  I am still ready for bed by 9:30pm, but now it is because my days start early and are so full.  It is because I am literally exhausted and my body needs to sleep.  It is not because I am unhealthy and in a food coma.

I like feeling in control of my emotions.  I yell at my kids much less than I used to.  It is not as much of a roller coaster ride in our house any more.  That's better for everyone, really.

I like feeling like the world is bright.  I didn't realize how dark everything felt and just how oppressed and depressed I was.  I didn't understand how heavy the burden was that I was carrying. I feel lighter in every sense of the word.

I like weighing less than my husband. No really... I used to weigh approximately 8-9 pounds MORE than my hubby who is a full 8 inches taller than me. Not cool.

I am surprised how much easier being healthy is than I thought.  It takes planning and time.  It takes making time for exercise, as well as finding avenues of exercise that I enjoy so it doesn't feel like such a chore.  It takes setting goals (for me) to stay motivated.  But, it really all does become habit.  And I really do feel different when I haven't exercised or I've overindulged for a few days.  I miss it when I'm not doing it, and that makes it easier than I ever thought it would be.

I am surprised at my reactions to people's comment/compliments.  I always wanted people to notice in the past when I had lost a few pounds.  They would comment on the weight loss my hubby achieved and I would get angry when they didn't comment on my weight loss.  (Truth is, no one could tell I had lost weight.) Now, I get compliments and people are noticing.  It was all at once.  I had been losing weight all along, but there was a turning point when other people started to notice.  I liked it and hated it at the same time.  It felt gratifying and horrifying at the same time.  People were noticing my body.  People were noticing that I had lost weight.  What if I fail and gain it back?  For awhile the compliments made me want to hide.  I can't say I'm 100% okay with the comments/compliments.  But I'm getting much better and am thankful that people can see the hard work I've been putting in.

I am surprised how much colder I am.  I definitely dress in layers out of necessity now.  As I'm typing this I have a pair of those flip glove things on (the ones that have the ends of the fingers cut off).  I am also considering putting on a scarf.

I didn't know that I would feel like a faker sometimes.  There are days when I put on the smaller size pants and think, "Seriously?  How do I get to wear these?  I'm such a faker with this whole health thing."  I still eat sweets, albiet a controlled amount that is within my desired calorie intake for the day.  I exercise 4 times a week.  But I feel like it should be more work.  Maybe that's because the bulk of my weight loss progress was made when I was training for my half marathon, which WAS a lot of work.  And, now that I am not training, I feel like a faker.  Like, at any moment someone is going to "unfog" the mirrors that I stand in front of and reveal the overweight, unhappy, stressed person I was back in January. 

I am constantly surprised at how much emotional/mental/spiritual work this journey has been/is/will be for me.  Just when I feel like I'm making progress physically, an emotional/mental/spiritual challenge pops up.  My biggest advice, if you were to ask me, on losing weight and getting healthy is to work on your heart and head first within your framework of faith.  Without that base, it will be much harder to be successful and make lasting change.

I am surprised that there are still moments/days when I look at myself in a mirror and see "fat." I mean, obviously I still have fat on my body.  But there are days when I still think I look fat.  I want to see an accurate picture of myself. Through someone else's eyes. I feel like my vision is distorted. Even though I am .2 pounds away from my goal for the year I still see what I don't like about myself. 

It is clear I am on a journey.  Sometimes it's nice to pull off at an observation deck/look out point for a break while on the journey.  Hope you enjoyed the view.